Monday, June 04, 2007

Tawdry Past? BRING IT.

So the word is that Daisy and Holly, aside from switching over to British names (yet to be decided), also have to acquire tawdry pasts. Well really just Holly. Lives that include staggering home at the wee hours of the morning, maybe passing to hail a taxi, or maybe to vomit on the way to hailing a taxi, or maybe to hail a passing taxi, out whose windows you'll vomit. Anyway, the idea is: wee hours, wine bottles (too many), naughty things done in bathrooms with regrettable guys after imbibing from too many wine bottles, and so on. You get it. Or apparently everyone who doesn't have as sparkly and clean a past as mine gets it. My life, apparently, compared to that of the typical party girl is not unlike a mentos commerical - all shiny and clean and nauseatingly cheerful. But, unfortunately, everyone's passing over mentos for Altoids and all those other shockingly powerful mints and gums named things like Whirlwind and Polar Force. Apparently no one wants mentos [shiny and clean and nauseatingly cheerful]. So, what I need now is a tawdry past. Got any?

Andrea, after, dropping my jaw to unforseen new lows with stories that I COULD NOT POSSIBLY POST HERE because they were so, so, SO tawdry and blush inducing that they would singe your fingertips right through the keyboard gave me the sort of idea that I'm looking for. She says Holly should be the sort of girl who heads right for a Barstool after going to her therapist.

Anyone else have crazy stories/ideas to share that might work for Holly? I'll I'm working from is my own limited, sheltered life of rainbows, unicorns and butterflies. If you've got them, preferably episodes including, as forementioned, booze, boys, bathrooms, and possibly vomit [projectile is just fine] then BRING IT. Nothing is too crazy for Holly.


Blogger Patti said...

as you know, i will be of no help...blimy.

6/04/2007 11:24 AM  
Blogger SohoSally said...

So much for being rewarded for living a good clean life! I'm now thinking of turning in my halo and girl scout badge for a beer bottle and a pair of stilletos!

6/04/2007 12:06 PM  
Anonymous Candy said...

Well...when I was 19 I had an affair with a much older married man. Almost got arrested for having sex in his car one night. One night I left my necklace in a hotel room and insisted on going back for it at 1AM. Afterwards his car wouldn't start and we had to wake up the only friends who knew about us. He got in at 3, as did I. He had a wife to deal with, me...only my disapproving parents.

6/04/2007 12:28 PM  
Blogger Bkln Diva said...

Oh, you want more do you? Greedy girl! My quiver is full of stories but if I melt off all your fingers with my tales of O, how will you ever create your fabulous labels?
With naughty regards,
- Andrea

6/04/2007 3:47 PM  
Blogger Abzdragon said...

Hey there's nothing wrong with Mentos. Always come in handy for masking the vodka on your breath when you crawl into work 5 minutes late still sporting the JBF (just been... fu... you know) hair from the night before. :)

6/04/2007 10:42 PM  
Blogger Amanda* said...

I *heart* mentos! Although I tend more toward the fruity ones than the minty ones. Let's not analyze that too much, okay?

I could give a few tawdry stories, but I think I'd much rather e-mail them--write me: tallredamanda AT gmail DOT com

6/06/2007 11:27 AM  
Anonymous Michelle said...

I once ended up in a ballroom dancing class with two ex boyfriends (I didn't sign up with them, it was coincidence).
Let's should write about an awkward and embarassing situation that has happened to you!

6/07/2007 12:08 AM  

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